It is now 11.30pm. While I am writing this text, my oven is baking a bunch of cupcakes. I am baking them at this hour because I can’t deal with myself anymore. (Besides, any time is the right time to bake.) So, it’s May today. Wow. 30 more days and my Bachelorwork has to be finished. 31 days and my exams will start. So, I am kind of freaking out a little. I am sooo incredibly tiring to myself like this! I have stayed inside (well and on the newly cleaned terrace) all day long to write. At least like… 10 pages or so. But, of course, after having written a few sentences, I notice that I actually do not really know all that much about what I’m writing (some narratological questions). So I think: hey, let’s get that book from first year to refresh my knowledge about narratology. Having found the book, I notice that back then I had only read like a third of it- it was my very first real Dutch uni book. It was sooo incredibly difficult to understand it, the field is quiet complex and then that new, strange language… So, what do I do: I start reading it on page 1. And whenever I read a theoretical book, I like to take notes. Like a few lines per two pages, in a word document, so that I have the core information at hand whenever I need it. As you can imagine, this takes up QUITE some time. The book I’m talking about has 177pages. Ok, it was utopical to think that I could do them ALL today, but, come on, I’m only at page 50 now, after say 3 ½ hours of work. Also, I have only written one single page for my work. 1. Sigh. So, this is basically how every single day I am trying to do productive work and end up desperate and with no output whatsoever. That is why I am baking now. I can sometimes be so incredibly tiring for myself (and my surroundings), when I have the feeling I’m not working well enough. I tend to get all hyper, sing awful songs in a horrible voice, start meowing like a car just rolled over my imaginative tail, start running around like a headless chicken (haha, like Charlie a little bit… We just found a little bell and put it around her neck with some lace… she is so funny! –and she’s ok, don’t you worry.)
(this is the postcard I gave you for your last birthday... isn't it just unbelievable ;) )
Ok, it’s time to get the cakes out of the oven. The icing is already waiting for them!
00:46. Can't wait to get my teeth in one of these!
N. and I decided to go for flashy colours. and love, of course. I have tons of love for her. and cake.
my dear, now I've written all about how exhausting studying is, and just yesterday I worked at a kinf of info-market at my Uni, trying to convince possible future students of how exiting and fun language-and literature studies are... :)
I guess, that's just how my life goes.
also, I still wanted to say that I miss us blogging more. i know we both have extremely busy times, but still our blog makes me happy everytime I visit it.
sleep tight, I'll enjoy a pink cake and read some more!
xxx
M.
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